fall by Lauren Tavares

when my friends were all out together, having fun and enjoying the sunshine, i was inside working, plastering a smile on my numb face, not letting myself think about what was outside of these four walls.

when my roommate was sleeping soundly in the bed next to mine, i was crying over an assignment i was two paragraphs away from finishing, staring at the clock and feeling time crumble around me with every passing minute.

when my ex was at a party and inching closer and closer to the girl across the floor, i was driving aimlessly through this town’s twisted streets, wet eyes blurring the streetlights and barely able to focus on the pavement in front of me.

when my siblings were laughing and poking fun at the weird character in the movie, i was silently agreeing with them, mentally berating the character for daring to be visible and seeing too much of myself in their image.

when my mother and father were together on the couch watching television downstairs, i was pulling further and further away from the life they had built for me, treating my bedroom like an isolation chamber and limiting my existence to the anonymous and detached world inside my computer.

when my life went on all around me, i felt myself fall apart piece by piece and there was nothing i could do to keep myself from breaking.

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